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“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes. Including you.”
-Ann Lamott
I caught up with my client Gabrielle the other day.
She’s a powerhouse.
Big Job. Raising two young boys. Writing her first book.
“I’ve decided I’m going to start my own business,” she announced.
“Wow! Congratulations! That’s wonderful. What kind of business?,” I asked.
“I have no idea….yet,” she smiled. “But I will. I’m giving myself eight years. I’ll be 50 then. I figure that will give me enough time to figure it out.”
Eight… years???
Eight years in our crazy-paced, get ‘er done corporate culture?
Well, that feels right next-door to “forever!”
I thought about her comment that whole evening.
Here was this accomplished, goal-oriented, strong-hearted human being, allowing herself time to evolve.
What a fascinating idea…..
It made me think about how I often feel rushed, pushing myself to achieve more, faster. Just that day, I had been whining to Tim about how long I felt it was taking me to launch Decide Happy. How much time it was taking to finish the draft of my new book. All while still running my consulting business. Caring for loved ones. Volunteering my time and energy for my beloved causes. Living my Life.
“Really?” Tim said. “You’ve been at this for…what? A year? A year and a half? You need to give yourself a freakin’ break.”
Well, yeah. There’s that.
Our get ‘er done culture grooms us to be goal-oriented, often impatient with our progress. Maybe, for you and Your Big Dream, 8 Years is too long. But maybe 1 Year is too short. One thing is for sure, rushing can lead to burnout and abandoning our dreams because it’s Just Too Hard.
And it’s devastating to give up on our dreams, no matter what the timeframe.
Of course it’s important and motivating to have goals and timelines. Essential even.
But are we setting ourselves up to achieve them happily?
What if we built a little breathing room into our timeframe?
Allowed ourselves a little room to reflect, modify, savor, celebrate - enjoy the process now.
There's a delicate balance between striving forward and cherishing the present, between urgency and grace. Life has taught me the value of both do-ing and be-ing, this yin and yang of finding moments of joy and gratitude amidst the hustle.
Maybe it’s where I am in life.
Maybe it’s surviving a life-threatening illness.
On one hand, I feel an almost painful sense of urgency:
Shouldn’t I be doing more? Faster?
Time is ticking.
Quit dilly-dallying around! Go, go, GO!
At the same time, I feel a palpable pull to slow down and savor.
My eyes well up inexplicably at the smallest of things:
A catbird sitting atop a bush in my front yard, trilling for its mate.
The way the morning mist gathers on the water as I cross over the reservoir on my drive to the gym.
The heartfelt stories people share with me, when I’m truly present for them. Deeply appreciating the battles each one of us is waging, that others may know nothing about.
I feel an acute awareness of the beauty, the fragility, fleetingness and magic of it all.
A poignant, vulnerable sensitivity to life, to loss, to love.
So, I have decided that I will be more intentional about achieving my goals and dreams while giving myself the space to breathe, and time to create.
I will make progress while noticing and savoring these moments of grace all around me.
I will allow myself the luxury of embracing the present, while moving with determination towards the future.
And perhaps, on occasion, I will even dilly-dally.
Happiness Practice
Have you been stressing over meeting a personal goal of yours?
What is it?
What, and who, is driving this deadline? Are you?
How can you enjoy the process more now?
How can you build in a little breathing room into your timeline, to savor the present while you progress toward the future?
What will you do to stop, and breathe and celebrate?
Decide Happy is now available in paperback, e-Book, and Audio, wherever books are sold, including Amazon.
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