On My Two Anniversaries

“Out of difficulties grow miracles.”

-Jean de la Bruyere

Today is my anniversary.

Tim and I are celebrating 34 years of marriage, with all of its abundance of love, fun, adventure, challenges, and joy.

And tomorrow is my anniversary.

The 8th anniversary of the life-saving surgery to remove the rare bone tumor growing at the base of my spine.

Eight years ago on November 4th, I was being prepped for the intricate surgery to remove the Chordoma tumor, along with my tailbone, 2 and 1/2 adjoining vertebrae, all while trying to preserve the nerves of my lower spine. In the meantime, Tim met with my neuro-surgical team where he shared a photo of us from our wedding, toasting each other and our future together.

“I want you to know how special Susan is,” he told my medical team. “Normally on this day, we’d be on vacation together, celebrating our anniversary. This year, we took a detour to come here so we can have many more happy anniversaries in the future. Please, please take good care of her.”

He told me later that he felt like he was in a time lapse movie, on stand-by in a crowded room with other waiting loved ones, people scurrying about, marking time as the hands of the clock on the wall spun forward — 8 hours, 10 hours, 12 hours… until he was the last one in the waiting room, pacing and staring outside through the now-dark windows. “I talked to you the whole time,” he told me. “I told you to stay strong. Even though I couldn’t see you, I sent you all the love and strength I could through those operating room walls."

And here we are…8 years later.

Celebrating each other. Celebrating love. Celebrating life.

I have so much to be grateful for.

I learned a lot through that experience. Here’s what I’ve learned:

Happiness is an inside job.

We can’t control all the things that happen to us in life. But we always have a choice about how we respond to life’s events. When life hits us with adversity, we have an important decision to make, don’t we? 

1. We can feel the weight of our pain like an anchor around our neck, dragging us down, making us bitter and angry and small, blaming others and behaving as the victim.

-or-

2. We can use our adversity as rocket fuel to propel us forward. We can choose a different meaning and realize that no matter what happens, we always have a choice about how we react. We can take responsibility for our own emotions, and look for the graces, the lessons, those people who come along like angels when we most need them at the most unexpected times. It’s not always easy.

Happiness is a constant decision.

Have you ever experienced a time that pulled the rug out from underneath life as you knew it, and challenged you to figure out a way to stay standing? Can you name that time?

• Could there be a gift in your MTST (Most Terrible and Stressful Thing?)

• What has your MTST brought into your life that you are grateful for?

• Did you learn something that put you on a different path? Perhaps a path to helping others, even in some small way?

• Has your MTST introduced you to incredible people whom you would never have known otherwise?

• Did it cause you to become stronger, kinder, shine brighter in some way?

I would not wish that time in my life on anyone. And I certainly don’t want to go through it again.

But I am so grateful for who I’ve become because of it.

I am humbled and thankful for the astonishing trajectory my life has taken because of That Year. How is it that my MTST could come with so many unexpected gifts? 

• The gift of being able to write and share Decide Happy with you.

• The gift of all the fabulous people like you whom I've met, or reconnected with, along the way.

• The gift of Purpose – and an unstoppable determination to help others going through their own journey in life, with less stress, and more joy.

I wouldn’t be where I am now, sharing these tools and inspiration with you, if that MTST hadn’t shown me another path, other possibilities for my life.

In short, I wouldn’t be here, if I hadn’t been there.

I want everyone to lead a life with less stress and more joy!

And so, as my Anniversaries gift to you and your loved ones:

Get the Book here, on Amazon.

• Do you ever need a reminder to Decide Happy? 

• Or some specific, new ideas and inspiration for how to navigate challenging times? Or practical tools to step up and tap into your best? 

• Perhaps with the holidays🎄🕎 coming up, you know someone who could use a lift? 

My hope is that by sharing these tools, I can help make life’s journey a little more joyful for you and your loved ones.

You deserve to lead a happier life. And the world so desperately needs us to be our most loving, calm, contributing, moving forward best.

Happy Anniversary!

With so much love,

Susan